“Relationships take compromise.” Is there any piece of relationship advice more ubiquitous than this? Personally, the first time I heard it, I hoped it wasn’t true. It sounded like a grim reality, one where I’d have to sacrifice what I wanted and find some way to do what the other person wanted even though […]

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Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, from “Conquering Fear” (Based on a seminar conducted in 1979 for teachers in Shambhala Training, a series of weekend programs on meditation and the view of warriorship):
The starting point on the path of fearlessness is the discovery of fear. We find ourselves fearful, frightened, even petrified by circumstances. This ubiquitous […]

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“Next year,” I think at each wedding anniversary. “Next year may be the last one—I’m not sure how much more of this relationship stuff I can take…” This past weekend was our 9th. We spent a few days in Portland, ME, taking long walks in the sunshine, eating at amazing restaurants (go Hugo’s), and staying […]

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predictable self-deceptions
their consequences
and antidotes
there are 9 of each
I am right.
Everyone else wrong.
I trust that things are righter than I can ever know.
I am needed.
So you better treat me right.
I give without agenda.
I am important.
I will overwhelm you with my credentials.
I have no need to spread propaganda about myself.
I am special.
Life will never live up to […]

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memphis slim at antone’s in austin, tx, 1986-ish
(mel brown under the hat behind him, sitting at the b-3)
Buddhists say that in every moment there are 108 opportunities to wake up fully and completely, to transcend the sorrows of this world and attain bliss without end. You might find your moment in the sunset or the […]

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clifford & albert king & a flying v
One year ago, a dear friend died suddenly. He was the founder of a blues club I worked in. But that doesn’t really describe him. This man, Clifford Antone, devoted everything he owned and everything he was to blues music and musicians. It’s not like he was a […]

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Today’s New York Times has an op-ed piece entitled, “Authentic? Never Mind” by Paul Krugman. It’s about how presidential candidates are trying to appear authentic. (Oxymoron.) Fred Thompson, for example, switched from a Lincoln Continental to a pickup truck to appear authentic during his Senate run. Does anyone really fall for #(@) like this?
Substituting the […]

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To take something of someone’s, use it, and return it without the owner ever knowing. “Is that a new iPod?” “No, it belongs to my sister but she’s out of town so I ninja borrowed it.”

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“Never accept responsibility without authority.”
I thought that to move to the “next level,” I had to take on more responsibility. I didn’t pay so much attention to who actually had the authority to make decisions about these responsibilities. Power (or whatever you want to call it) comes from more authority, not more responsibility.
So now I […]

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I heard that Sam Cooke dreamt the song A Change is Gonna Come,woke up and wrote it down. It scared him. He thought it meant he was going to die.
The song sounds like this.
Lately, I’ve been listening to it repeatedly. Like maybe hundreds of times in the last several months. It makes me cry every […]

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