What is the Enneagram?
Whenever I find myself in a conversation about interpersonal difficulties (“My boss is a screamer,” “I can’t get my boyfriend to ever be on time,” “My sister cannot commit to anything”) I always ask, “have you ever heard of the enneagram?” I get one of four responses:
1. No. Not interested in that kind of hoodoo.
2. Isn’t that some kind of personality test? That stuff is all bullshit.
3. Yes, I’m a six.
4. I haven’t. Please tell me all about it.
My favorite is person #4. Here is what I tell them.
To say the Enneagram is a system of personality typing is like saying Bob Dylan is a singer-songwriter. It just goes waaay beyond that. Among other things, it is a pitch-perfect illustration of your own and others’ blind spots, of what we do over and over to cause our own problems, and of how we hurt others simply because we misinterpret their actions according to our own type.
The Enneagram is the best system I ever heard of to explain the differences between people—in a way that increases self-knowledge, understanding, and patience–and teaches how to relate to others without difficulty. It is an extraordinary system that is crazily subtle yet totally useful in real life. It enables you to communicate effectively with anyone.
Here is a true story about putting the enneagram to use at work:
Once I was working on a project with someone. It was fairly complicated and I often ran into problems putting our ideas into play. But whenever I would say to him, “I’ve run into a bit of a problem on thus and such and I’d love to discuss it with you,” he’d hem and haw and make excuses for why he had no time for such discussions. This left me feeling pretty much like a loser and I’d beat myself up for not being able to accomplish things that he obviously thought should be straightforward. Stewing further, I’d start to curse him for insensitivity and arrogance. I began to avoid him and he then began avoiding me.
Then I realized his enneagram type. He was a 7. 7s avoid pain and problems. Their focus is almost exclusively on possibilities and options. They view problems as bummer dead weights around their necks that prevent them from being visionary. For my type (4), we view problems as a sign that the truth is finally coming out and now we can really get to work. For better and worse, a 7’s gaze is continually pulled toward the horizon, toward what could be. When circumstance asks them to stop looking into the future and instead focus on the present, they become querulous and discombobulated: why would anyone want to do that?? Especially if it involves relating to problems. So the next time I had a problem and stopped him in the hall, I said “I have an idea and would love your feedback.” His eyes lit up and he made time for conversation on the spot. Then I told him my problem, but languaged as an idea. This simple switch took out all the BS of he likes me, he hates me, I hate him, I suck, etc, etc–and we could instead simply focus on task. This is the brilliance of the enneagram.
Then I say to them that “ennea” is the Greek prefix for nine and the system defines nine personality types. Each is simply called by its number. (People have made up names for each point on the Enneagram, but I think they’re more confusing than helpful, so I’m just going to stick with numbers). At this point their eyes narrow. Is this person going to try and pigeonhole me, they wonder. I CAN’T BE DEFINED BY ONE NUMBER, they say to themselves. YES YOU CAN, I say to myself.
Click here to read the rest of my completely unauthorized thoughts on the subject.
Click here for a super detailed Excel spreadsheet depicting aspects of the Enneagram.
10 comments
How do we figure out our type? Do we just read the descriptions? Or is there a test or something that can reveal one’s type?
Check out this post: http://www.susanpiver.com/2008/01/02/figuring-out-your-enneagram-number/
Let me know if you have questions!
The enneagram is an amazing tool and I’ve been typed as a counterphobic 6. I have taken different tests and have come out as a 6 and a 3, but when I read about the types I’m convinced I’m a 6. When I read your “unauthorized thoughts” about a 6 I chuckled because I can definitely tell you all that can go wrong in a situation! I’m attending a weekend training in March with Clarence Thomson that I’m very much looking forward to.
I was introduced to this model by my husband, who has already studied with Clarence and it is very helpful to me in my life and my work. I wish everyone knew about and understood the enneagram! It’s helped me manage many relationships.
Thank you for posting about it.
I’d love to hear about your training in March. Is it about the enneagram in general or a particular aspect of it?
Thanks for being in touch and I also wish every understood the enneagram! Would make life a lot easier.
I tried to click on the link http://www.susanpiver.com/2008/01/02/figuring-out-your-enneagram-number/ to figure out my number but received the message that the URL isn’t found on this server. How can I find out my number? Any help would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks for the great post, Susan. I’ve just recently discovered the Enneagram and am using it in work I’m doing with a career coach. I’m finding it particularly useful as a dharma practitioner to help shine a light on conditioned patterns and tendencies in relationship and at work.
Here’s another free online test for anyone looking to discover their type: )http://similarminds.com/test.html)
Thanks especially for the spreadsheet. Great stuff!!
You’re welcome, John. I use the Enneagram every single day of my life at work. And as a practitioner, I find it enormously supportive in just the way you describe–shining light on habitual patterns and thus self-liberating them. Hugely helpful.
Would love to hear how your Enneagram studies progress and if I can be helpful in any way, let me know.
Hi Susan, I landed here in a very roundabout way and I realize this is an old post. But I just wanted to say that this is one of the best explanations I have seen for the Enneagram. I so wish more people would be “into it.” My previous therapist introduced me to the Enneagram and it’s been such a monumental eye opener. Thank you for this great post! Kerstin
Kerstin, I’m so glad you liked this post. The Enneagram is truly one of the most helpful tools I have ever discovered. Glad you found it, too.
[...] is a common theme amongst Enneagram Type Nines. I know I have said it before but learning about the Enneagram while I lived in Bellingham was one of those life changing experiences. As was settling into a city [...]