Susan,
thanks for sharing your insight and moment of grace. it reminds me of when i was living through “a broken heart” and i would make a couple of requests of myself each day to explore healing and presence. these were
*what can i be grateful for today? simple gratitudes such as the sunny weather, catching the green light when driving, noticing the dewdrop on a leaf, being able to get out of bed and meditate for just a few minutes, my family etc etc
*taking my attention “off” my thinking about my pain - extending the time each day. First day a couple of seconds, second day seconds and so on until eventually i had created a pathway of being where i was instead of in my head creating pain.
*getting closer to my needs rather than closer to my strategies; by this i mean when i could feel the pain welling inside i would get closer to it -”oh, i am really needing connection right now (not i am really needing him right now). now, with this i started to realise i could find connection all kinds of ways and i loosened my grasping to “one” strategy for getting that connection.
* finally, i did practical things; no sad love songs, strong music supporting self, physical exercise, sticking with my meditation practice even though it was chaotic in my head, making sure i made arrangements to the outside world: friends, courses, volunteering etc.
it’s not that one avoids a broken heart, its that it gets a perspective - a place in our life -but is not our life or who we are. something like that. it is an opportunity or calling for exploration rather than a tragedy “done to us”. For me, it was about shifting my locus of control back to me.
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Susan,
thanks for sharing your insight and moment of grace. it reminds me of when i was living through “a broken heart” and i would make a couple of requests of myself each day to explore healing and presence. these were
*what can i be grateful for today? simple gratitudes such as the sunny weather, catching the green light when driving, noticing the dewdrop on a leaf, being able to get out of bed and meditate for just a few minutes, my family etc etc
*taking my attention “off” my thinking about my pain - extending the time each day. First day a couple of seconds, second day seconds and so on until eventually i had created a pathway of being where i was instead of in my head creating pain.
*getting closer to my needs rather than closer to my strategies; by this i mean when i could feel the pain welling inside i would get closer to it -”oh, i am really needing connection right now (not i am really needing him right now). now, with this i started to realise i could find connection all kinds of ways and i loosened my grasping to “one” strategy for getting that connection.
* finally, i did practical things; no sad love songs, strong music supporting self, physical exercise, sticking with my meditation practice even though it was chaotic in my head, making sure i made arrangements to the outside world: friends, courses, volunteering etc.
it’s not that one avoids a broken heart, its that it gets a perspective - a place in our life -but is not our life or who we are. something like that. it is an opportunity or calling for exploration rather than a tragedy “done to us”. For me, it was about shifting my locus of control back to me.
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