Posts from — February 2011

Marianne is a writer, a human rights advocate and a yoga teacher based in New Zealand. Her beautiful blog is about her experiences teaching yoga in Afghanistan, teaching other people to live authentically, and writing her very first book, Zen Under Fire: Learning to Sit Still in Afghanistan. (Not out yet.)

We became friends on Twitter, had drinks in Brooklyn, and today Skyped between Boston and New Zealand, me in my sweaters and scarves, she in her tank top, hair tied back. But not matter the differences in time and weather, you know it when you encounter a sister.

To read her blog post about our conversation, click HERE.

To hear our interview, click HERE.

Self-Help Books: Are They Actually Helpful?

You tell me. Has a book changed your life? Which one and why?

Susannah is a photographer, writer, and teacher. Her creations are an organic expression of her heart rather; a true artist. It was a pleasure to meet her in person a few months ago and now connect our worlds through this lovely and fun interview about creativity. Please enjoy! Click on her logo to read.

OR

Interview here!

Recently, I’ve been asking you lovely readers to let me know if you have any questions or topics you’d like me to address in a blog post. I’ve received some amazing, deep, and deeply heartfelt questions. Stay tuned to hear riffs on issues such as:

“How can I maintain hope and foster hope in others in difficult circumstances?”

“I am interested in the subject of empathy – and especially cases when empathy is so strong that some people’s emotions and thoughts trouble you for days after. What to do?”

“How to overcome the fear of loneliness with an open heart. I’ve been longing for love and missing the intimacy that I had with my ex since our relationship ended fifteen months ago.”

“Any tips on maintaining relationship w chronically negative people? I’m a pos person…they’re bringing me down!”

Great, great questions/issues. But thought I’d start off with something a little more personal. This one was from Angela: [Read more →]

Thrilled to have met in person with Bridget for this fun, sweet, and soulful interview about love, heartbreak, and where true wisdom comes from. It’s 32 minutes long and if you’d like to listen, click on the image.

“I talked with Susan Piver about her book and about the purpose of heartbreak. If you’re in the space of heartbreak, this interview will help you. And if you’re in a place of deep love, this interview will help you too.

I thought I’d transcribe it, but I want you to hear the tenor of Susan’s voice, and the deep compassion she brings to even a simple conversation.”

To read more…

Some thoughts on Valentine’s Day

What if we could celebrate Valentine’s Day in a whole different way? What if instead of celebrating whether or not we have someone to take us out to dinner, we celebrated all the love we have ever felt in our lives, all the love we have yet to feel, and all the love we could feel today, if we allowed it?

If you are in a relationship, make today all about him or her. Lavish gifts, attention, appreciation—but not for show. Make it real. Include lots of gazing into her eyes to see if you can connect with the very essence of this precious being. (Stop just short of being annoying.) Include slow dancing in your kitchen, whether or not music is playing. Add in something homemade, like a pie or an instagram or a poem you wrote about his face in the morning. Make a playlist of songs that remind you of her kisses.

If you aren’t in a relationship, make every being you encounter today into a loved one. No, not that kind. The kind where you think about what is on their mind whether or not they tell you and try to do something thoughtful—like you could laugh with them at what they find funny or cry with them over what makes them sad. You could make your very first question to yourself about everyone be “what is going on for this person and how could I lighten their load a teeny bit, whether or not I have any idea what they’re talking about?” That kind.

And if your heart is broken, you’re in the best shape of all for a day of love because all you have is love. It may feel like pain and longing (and sure, it is), but it’s also something else: love itself, unbound from an object. You know this is you when you feel everything—your own sorrow and the sorrow of others, and also their joy. So even though it can be a bit disorienting, let your openness work for you by agreeing that, just for today, you’re going to use your super powers of empathy to do good for others. And see what happens next.

Make it a day of love. Be a love ninja. Some suggestions: [Read more →]

In gearing up for my big, huge (to me) launch of a daily (M-F) email about life, love, leadership, joy, and creativity based on a Buddhist point of view, I’ve asked people what they might like me to write about. Here are some of the requests I’ve received:

• Can you talk about making a distinction between drawing a boundary with someone’s unacceptable (or abusive) behaviour vs. “running away”…Especially with a partner. when do you not stay in a bad situation?

• How does one become fearless?

• How can I maintain hope and foster hope in others in difficult circumstances?

• Write more about deepening relationships while still being realistic and accepting.

• What has been the biggest eye opener you have had since embracing Buddhism?

• After a very long relationship has ended, how can you truly wish your ex partner happiness (because they deserve to be happy like anyone else) without feeling that pinched feeling when you actually imagine him happy with someone else?

• I want to be more compassionate and kind to people and change my ingrained habitual response to certain situations…(even when they) still annoy me.
  

• Could you do an email about distinguishing between compassion and what Pema Chodron calls “idiot compassion”?

These are all so awesome. What do you want to hear about? Sign up for the newsletter and let me know. xoxo S

The lovely website Luz y Paz interviewed me about heartbreak and spiritual practice. Click on their logo to read it.

The beautiful Jenna

My excellent pal Jenna interviewed me for her cool blog about quitting drinking and how her life changed when she did. She has become a meditation practitioner and we talked about stuff like fear, safety, distractions, why it is that we’re all so vulnerable, and whether or not spiritual practice will make you safe.

An excerpt:

JH: Your books are about concepts – like heartbreak and fear – that are so common and yet so difficult. Why are these things so hard?

SP: I don’t know why they’re so hard. I just think we all carry around this incredible vulnerability. We are all so vulnerable! And we build these complicated structures within ourselves and around ourselves that we think can protect us; like ‘if I live in a certain neighborhood, in a certain kind of house, if I adopt a certain nutritional plan, if I fall in love with this kind of person and not that kind of person, I will be protected.’ Deep inside we know that we will never be protected, but we still try to employ all these strategies. It’s really hard to stop.

I think the attunement with your essential vulnerability is the same thing as attunement with your highest wisdom and your deepest creativity and your heart of hearts. It’s difficult to be human. It’s difficult to walk around with what we know is true, which is that we each have a raw and open heart that is without protection at any time.

To read more…

Buddhist new year is coming up March 5, which is a lovely time for a new year to begin. It is still winter, but (for those who don’t live in New England or Minnesota) the hope of spring begins to arise.

Each Buddhist New Year is associated with a different animal and the year is said to be colored by the qualities of that animal. Whether or not you hold with such concepts, bear with me while I explain what those qualities could be in the coming year.

The year coming to an end has been the year of the Tiger. The coming year will emphasize quite different energies, those of the Iron Hare. Yes, a rabbit made of steel.

This is really good news. I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty much done with fighting and territory and the laws of the jungle. I’m really, really ready for something a little cuddlier, a little fuzzier. That said, we don’t want a wimpy year, just one that is a bit more civilized.

Just in time…THE RABBIT. Perhaps above everything, this animal is associated with peacefulness. Cooperation. Harmony. The pleasures of daily life. Refinement. No undue stress. Some things that may have gone wanting in the past year, at least speaking for myself.

For this coming year, I wish for you just these uplifted qualities, peace most of all.

When you cultivate peace within yourself, you cultivate peace for this world. This is the truth.

This is the year to open your heart. This is the year to change our world and I want to help.

I’ve spent the last several months trying to figure out how exactly I might do this, and I think I’ve come up with something pretty cool. It’s very simple and involves a ton of options and encouragement to help you make meditation a part of your life, really, truly, once and for all, painlessly, plus a daily meditation or contemplation from me (well, Monday through Friday) via email.

I’ve been writing these like crazy, trying to get several months worth before I spring this on you in March. Topics range from love, leadership, creativity, and finding joy to more traditional Buddhist teachings on right speech, equanimity, and the actions of a bodhisattva (awakened being).

Does this sound like something you’d like?? I hope so. You can sign up for it here.

Stay tuned. More details in a few days.

If you have any topics you’d like me to cover, definitely drop me an email.

Here’s to a year of great joy. And remember, if we open our hearts, we can change the world.