Category — dharma

Courtesy of the talented Rod Meade Sperry at The Worst Horse.

It’s my response to the Brit Hume & Bill O’Rellly vs the Buddha flap.

Please feel free to comment positively or negatively on HuffPo site!! The more comments, the better!! http://bit.ly/4P1rYL

2009 was a year of remarkable discoveries, no? We discovered we could do with less than we thought. We discovered, for the gazillionth time, that money cannot buy happiness. We discovered that the world could look right side up one moment and upside down the next. We discovered new leadership for our country and the world. We (OK, I) discovered that a 27^th pair of jeans is simply not necessary and how much time and energy and money I spend craving possessions, hairdos, and tokens of success.

I discovered once again that when I’m focused on anything but love, I’m basically wasting my time. And by love I mean being myself completely, beyond all illusions, offering the best of myself to whomever happens to be around, and continuously acknowledging my  wish be loved, embraced, seen—without shame, agenda, or expectation.

In my Shambhala Buddhist lineage, Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche encourages certain contemplations to be done on your birthday. Since today is a birthday for the world, I thought it would be appropriate to offer them to you. These are things to contemplate that will keep you composed and committed to the priorities that matter most.

OK? Ok!

To start, take a moment and calm your mind. Contemplate your own basic goodness until you become certain of it.  Take a moment to feel gratitude for your body, your speech, and your mind. They are yours and they have the ability to bring much beauty into the world.

From this space of appreciation and goodness, contemplate these truths, one at a time. (Contemplating something is different than thinking about it. Contemplation means holding these words in your mind and noticing what arises. You don’t have to do anything. If your mind strays from these words, simply bring it back. Your own wisdom will do the rest.)

My birth is a precious miracle that is impermanent. Within me is the ability to make my life a profound celebration of heart, a living expression of compassion for myself and others, beginning immediately.

Everything that arises also dissolves. If I can face this truth with courage, I will be able to appreciate everything and everyone with a love that comforts when comfort is required and shocks when things get too comfortable.

I am not alone in this world. Everything I do and everything I am is interconnected with all of existence. My every thought and action can create positive effects for myself and others.

Everything is completely OK, right now. There is nothing I can do, see, be, think, or attract that has the potential to make me any happier than what I possess at this very moment. It is all right here.

After contemplating these truths for awhile, let them go. Make the aspiration to live in truth, love, and good cheer in the coming year and all the days of your life. Offer gratitude to your lineage, your source of support. Maybe it’s your family or an organized religion, or maybe you see yourself as part of the lineage of artists, parents, activists, Romans, gardeners, or race car drives. We all have our lineage. Give thanks to yours and request its blessings.

In 2010, I wish you

The strength to be yourself utterly.

The clarity to pierce the veil of illusion around who you think you are supposed to be.

The courage to offer the best of yourself to whomever happens to be around, and

The intention to give voice to your own wish to be loved, embraced, seen—without shame, agenda, or expectation.

Love, Susan

Different people create different shrines in their homes. A shrine can help anchor a contemplative practice. Here is a pic of mine. Post a pic of yours!

I’m honored to be included on twitter pal @minddeep’s list of 15 Great Women Buddhist Bloggers. May our individual and combined intentions create joy and peace for all beings! No matter what.

Click on image for full post.

108 Zen Books
Smilin Buddha Kabaret
Zen Dot Studio
Momma Zen
Jizo Chronicles
Becca Faith Yoga
Mama Dharma
Buddhist at Heart
The Asian Welder
Mama Om
Susan Piver
Mindful Purpose
Budding Buddhist
Dalai Grandma
Luminous Heart

This from the lovely Gail Goodwin’s (aka @inspiremetoday) blog and many wonderful folks on Twitter. She asked people to share the best wisdom they ever learned in 140 characters. My response was: I can say it in one word. “Relax.”

There is no doubt that the more we can relax around even our most painful or stressful situations–the more we can relax about each thought in turn and not grasp any one of them too hard–the more readily natural, indestructible, non-personal wisdom arises. And then you can channel that. Without really understanding how it all works.

The moment I think I’ve got a lock on the formula for wisdom is the moment I’ll know I’ve stepped out of the stream. It seems that not knowing, being uncertain, testing each moment afresh, experiencing great awkwardness is wiser, far wiser, than thinking you’ve got anything figured out. After all, whatever you have figured out can only have applied to the past, perhaps not to the present. Letting go of that knowing is the only way to tell…

Check out what some other lovely people have said over at Gail’s blog.

October 29, 2009

Today we are snowed in at Shambhala Mountain Center, an extraordinary Buddhist retreat center in the Colorado Rockies. This may be my very favorite spot on earth. I’m here for a week, teaching a meditation retreat for writers. When I look out my window, this is what I see.

It’s like the best writing situation ever. There is no cell phone reception. We are almost two hours from the nearest city of any size. We spend the day practicing meditation and writing and absolutely no one or nothing can interrupt us. In the evening we meet to hear someone read their work. The snowstorm only adds to the sense of being sheltered, hidden away, embraced, at peace. Each day is a deeper experience of relaxation, joy, and creativity.

This sounds good, no?! It is. However, I can’t help but notice that the more fun it is, the more my students cry. During meditation, I see people tearing up. When I give my little talks on creativity, some eyes well up. When people pull me aside to chat about this or that, before they can get any words out, they begin to cry.

It’s awesome.

Awesome because, in the Shambhala tradition, sadness is seen as a mark of warriorship. Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche says that this tenderness is the first tip of fearlessness. You are not afraid to open yourself to the world and when you do, everything touches you. This is just how you are built.

When you taste your own gentle goodness, it can be quite frightening. If I had say, $10,000, for every time someone said to me, “Well all very well and good about this softness thing, but what happens when I get back to the real world?”, I’d be a millionaire. My friends. THIS is the real world. The real world is where people are kind to each other, help out in times of need, celebrate each other’s victories, and maintain a powerful sense of inner balance that enables them to maintain these qualities through good times and bad. That other place—the one built on speed, aggression, insecurity, and “me first,” do you really think that is the way we were born to act? I think not. Babies are born soft and open and loving, they don’t come out of the womb demanding better accommodations, hoarding away milk and toys from other babies, or giving people the finger in traffic jams because they’re in a hurry to get to a playdate. (Although that last one I’d kind of like to see.) That is the phony world, the one built on misconception after misconception about what is valuable, meaningful, and important. I mean, really.

So how does one return to the fake world without slipping right back in to old, bad habits? How do you protect your gentle, open heart so that it doesn’t get stomped?

The first thing to remember is that your heart only needs protecting if what you’re trying to build is a comfortable, threat-free life that shuts out whatever and whomever you don’t like. (Which is actually impossible, but don’t tell.) However, if what you’re after is a life of authenticity, wakefulness, joy, and deep connection with others, an open heart is your best friend. It is how you take the world in.

This doesn’t mean you need to walk around like a sap, being all hushed and new-agey and more blissed out than thou. A person with an open heart can be spotted in this way: They laugh hard. They cry a lot. They pretty much like themselves. They question themselves and experience doubt frequently. They get their feelings hurt. They are there for you in a crisis. They keep trying to love you and get you to love them back.

One reason people cry so much on retreat is because they glimpse this possibility and it is so incredibly touching and real. The trick is to stabilize your heart in the state of openness so that you can use it for good instead of being overwhelmed by your own sensitivity. It is possible to do this. A daily meditation practice really, really helps. I mean REALLY. In fact, I don’t know how one would practice openheartedness without it.

So I super-strongly suggest to my students that they continue to practice meditation in some reasonable way, like 20 minutes a day or 10 or 90, whatever they can do. And beyond this, I try to explain the three steps that can make their meditation more than an exercise in relaxation (not that there’s anything wrong with that), but a sacred declaration of aliveness and goodness. I write about them in my upcoming book, The Wisdom of a Broken Heart, and I’d like to share them with you now.

Before you do your spiritual practice:

1. Make offerings. When you walk into a shrine room of any religion, there are often flowers, candles, and incense. These are offerings. You can make a similar type of setup in your home, by creating a smaller version of a traditional shrine. Or you can simply place some fresh flowers next to a picture of someone or something you love and aspire to emulate. You can light a candle as an offering of warmth, light, and safety. And, when in doubt, the best offering is one you can always make, no matter where you are or how you feel and that is your own experience in the moment.

Before meditation, touch in with how it feels to be you right now. Maybe you feel great, crappy, or all of the above. Feel it. Offer it to whom or whatever you hold sacred by saying something like, “I offer exactly who I am right now to the highest wisdom and goodness I can imagine.” You don’t have to know exactly what this means, just rouse a sense of generosity.

2. Request blessings. It’s totally OK to ask the world to bless you. And who do you ask? If you are a Christian, you could ask Jesus. If you are Buddhist, you can ask for your teacher’s blessing. You can seek the blessings of magic if you are an Alchemist, of Gandhi if you’re a pacifist, of the earth if you’re a Pagan. The idea is to seek the blessings of your lineage.

What lineage do you belong to? Is it a religious tradition? Maybe so, maybe not. Maybe you’re of the lineage of poets or scientists, of painters, mothers, CEOs, crusaders, or lovers. Get a sense of your heart’s lineage and, in whatever way feels natural to you, request the blessings of that line.

After doing these two things, do your spiritual practice, whether it is meditation (hint, hint), journaling, hiking, or reading something uplifting.

3. Dedicate the merit. Once you have finished your practice, connect with whatever benefit you may have created for yourself through undertaking this practice. Once you have this felt sense, give it away. In whatever way feels natural for you, make the aspiration that the results of your practice could be used to also benefit others. This is very important. My beloved teacher, Sakyong Mipham, says that not dedicating the merit is like not hitting the “save” button on your word doc before shutting down.

So try these things. I wish for you the precious and potent tenderness that comes from acknowledging your own basic goodness.

From the bottom of my laughing, crying, cranky, needy, and deeply loving heart, Susan

I’m teaching a workshop based on my upcoming book, The Wisdom of a Broken Heart. It will take place May  15-17 at beautiful Karme Choling Shambhala Meditation Center in Barnet, VT.

In the Shambhala tradition, a broken heart, rather than a problem to be solved, is considered a remarkable opportunity to discover your innate spiritual warriorship. Only by plunging into the depths of your heart can you achieve the self-knowledge and genuine presence that are associated with wisdom and personal power. And when your heart is broken, you really have no choice. Your insides have been turned upside down and your deepest fears and concerns are no longer manageable. You can’t run and you can’t hide and so it is time to meet them.

This weekend program will gently introduce you to the skills needed to work with a broken heart – not to drive it away or tie it up with a bow, but to find the message of wisdom contained in this most difficult situation.

You will learn meditation, the practice of loving kindness, and several on-the-spot techniques to use throughout the day. In addition, we will:

• Discuss the wisdom aspect of painful emotions
• Contemplate one’s history with such emotions
• Shift the emphasis from finding love to offering it as a way to reclaim power
• Learn to stabilize your heart in a state of openness

Whether your heart was broken yesterday or years ago, the elements needed to tread this path are present. As we progress, you will discover that gentleness, fearlessness, and intelligence are marks of spiritual warriorship and that the dark power of heartbreak can introduce you to them. If you stay with your broken heart, it will surely lead you down the path to wisdom.

It’s not expensive–$275, not including housing. Click here for more info.

Here is an excerpt from the book and a bit more detail about the weekend:

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The third kind of friendliness is called Sympathetic Joy. This is when you are made happy by the happiness of others. It’s surprising how difficult this can be–it’s actually easier to feel sorry for people when they’re down than pleasure when they’re up. Guess it conjures up all sorts of jealousy, old grudges, personal comparisons, etc.

Sure, it’s no problem when people you love/approve of/agree with win the lottery or fall in love. But what about strangers? People you don’t like? It’s actually possible to find within yourself the capacity to enjoy their happiness. I’m not talking about some kind of moralistic, politically or emotionally correct (ok, I just coined the phrase “emotionally correct”) situation. I’m talking about a genuine sense of warmth and delight whenever happiness of any sort enters this world, no matter who is acting as its channel. This world needs happiness. It needs love. Ease. Satisfaction. Contentment. The genuine kinds, not the kinds that come from “winning.” (Winning doesn’t bring happiness. It brings hunger for more winning.) When the positive side of the balance is weighted, we should rejoice. This is a kind of advanced friendliness. Imagine what the world would be like if we all worked this angle.

It’s interesting to note that the suffering of others is not the only thing that can cause your heart to open spontaneously. It can also  occur when we observe someone else’s authentic happiness. Human nature is hard-wired this way. Anybody who has ever cried during a soft drink commercial or at a wedding has experienced sympathetic joy. When my husband proposed to me over dinner in a restaurant, the lady at the next table burst into tears. Something inside us is deeply touched by meaningful moments whether they are in our life or another’s. There is a spontaneous upwelling of joy for others.

When others are happy, we have the capacity to feel that happiness as if it were our own. We’re not just happy for them, we feel happy ourselves and essentially there is no difference.

A good way to experiment with this is to practice looking for simple signs of other people’s pleasure. We don’t have to start with trying to feel happy for Osama bin Laden or whatever. If you see someone on the subway happily engrossed in a book, allow yourself to feel the delight of that kind of engagement. You don’t have to approve of the book or anything; don’t even pay attention to stuff like that–just check in with the felt sense, not the object that caused it. If some people in the news were rescued from a plane crash, take a moment to imagine the relief of their families and friends. Breathe a sigh of relief with them. If someone in your office receives flowers, imagine their scent and vividness. You can feel uplifted by a gift that was given to someone else. You don’t have to wait until someone gives you flowers to find their joy. Joy can always be found.

Buddhists say that there are 108 opportunities in every moment to wake up, to find true bliss. Probably like 324 just went by in the time it took me to write that sentence. We can train ourselves to look for these moments in all things. Fear is when we train ourselves to look in the opposite direction: for opportunities to freak out.

Usually, we imagine that we’ll be able to enjoy other people’s pleasures once we have created a safe and secure situation for ourselves–until then we have to look out for #1. But it can actually work the other way around. Attuning to the joy of others (rather than the ways they could potentially threaten us) creates the conditions for genuine, lasting fearlessness, the kind that is not dependent on your latest victory.

Click here for Part One (Lovingkindness) and here for Part Two (Compassion). Stay tuned for Part Four (Equanimity).

Two interviews with different FOX shows today (online shows that are also made available to local affiliates). Topic is meditation. Have no idea how it’s going to go. It’s hard to talk about meditation without sounding goofy. Wish me luck.