Every day we are faced with countless judgment calls about life’s events: Is this project going well or poorly? Is it better to push or withdraw regarding a conflict with a colleague? Right now, does my child need my loving presence or a stern reminder?
These are very nuanced questions. What is the best way to […]

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Whenever I find myself in a conversation about interpersonal difficulties (“my boss is a screamer,” “I can’t get my boyfriend to ever be on time”) I always ask, “have you ever heard of the enneagram? I get one of four responses:
1. No. Please move on.
2. Isn’t that some kind […]

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This is in reponse to Kirby’s comments on this posting.
Kirby, hi and thanks for writing. When you say you’ve been typed by experts, what does that mean? Have you met with enneagram teachers or taken classes? Just curious.
You’re right, the books really contradict each other. And so do many teachers. That’s one reason why, when […]

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As you may  have read, I’m a big fan of the Enneagram. But how do you figure  out which of the nine personality types fits you??
It’s not so easy. It’s not like it’s based on your birthday or year or anything external. You basically just have to figure it out. Here are some places to […]

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predictable self-deceptions
their consequences
and antidotes
there are 9 of each
I am right.
Everyone else wrong.
I trust that things are righter than I can ever know.
I am needed.
So you better treat me right.
I give without agenda.
I am important.
I will overwhelm you with my credentials.
I have no need to spread propaganda about myself.
I am special.
Life will never live up to […]

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