Category — i couldn't help but wonder

I love yoga. I’ve been a half-assed student (which might be an asana, I’m not sure) for close to twenty years. I remember the moment I fell in love with the practice. It was at Kripalu. The teacher was Stephen (Kaviraj) Cope. The pose was trikonasana/triangle. Following Kavi’s precise verbal instruction and watching him model the pose with his beautiful (and beautifully human) body, I suddenly found that I was suspended in space in an unexpected way, my body draped into an unaccustomed but oddly thrilling design. It can do this, too?! I thought. How cool.

Kavi gave point-by-point instruction on how to find the proper alignment. Once there, we were encouraged to feel into it and then relax, including the awesomeness, including the oddness, the beauty, the discomfort, and the enjoyment of not knowing what it was supposed to feel like. His instruction to establish the pose but “relax around the holding” has served me to this day, on and off the mat.

From this, I learned that the first step in asana practice is precision. Each pose has a magical kind of integrity that is awakened only when animated by your body. Without alignment, the integrity goes away. From this precision, an opening of the energetic body is created. The pose then starts to animate you. And the third step, to let go—of expectation, judgment, hope, and fear—allows energy to continue flowing. In this way, honest transformation, the kind that transcends mere self-improvement, can occur.

Precision. Opening. Letting go. I had never related to myself in this way before and it changed the way I felt inside my body. I still love yoga for the same reasons, only more so.

Since then, I’ve been to like a zillion yoga classes: Iyengar, Ashtanga, Kripalu, Anusara, “Power,” Bikram, heated vinyasa, and on and on. I’m not a yoga snob and I pretty much like them all. As long as I shvitz, I don’t really care what the style is. Wherever I live, I just go to the studio closest to my house. [Read more →]

Self-Help Books: Are They Actually Helpful?

You tell me. Has a book changed your life? Which one and why?

Driving away from Shambhala Mountain Center yesterday, after a writers’ retreat. Thinking about love… 12 minutes, 22 seconds worth… ’scuse the turn signal sounds…

Not my most flattering angle, but nonetheless…

driving from susan piver on Vimeo.

I had such a wonderful time teaching from The Wisdom of a Broken Heart this past week in D.C., N.Y., Toronto, and Montreal (where the book is called La Sagesse d’un Coeur Brisé which makes it sound so pretty). Over and over, I’m struck by the deep well of tenderness that resides in each of us and how a broken heart puts you squarely in touch with that tenderness, like it or not. I truly believe we are born to respect this tenderness; to be kind and expect kindness. Clearly, the world doesn’t always encourage that, but the moment you extend kindness to another, their own kindness is called forth. Kindness can and will and does change the world.

His Holiness the Dalai Lama said, “my religion is kindness” and it’s not because he’s some kind of wimp. It’s because he knows that this is how to bring peace to our war-torn, aggression-fueled world where people use fundamentalist scare tactics to incite us to be kind only to those who agree with us–and to consider the rest as barely human. This makes me cry pretty much every, single, solitary day of my life.

I just wish we could all be nice to each other is my constant refrain. But how? Especially when there are those who equate “nice” (or decent, kind, humane, tolerant…whatever word you prefer) with sloppy loser-ness? Au contraire, my friends. Real niceness is not sloppy, it is sharp. Because to be genuinely nice, you have to pay very close attention to who and what is around you, otherwise your niceness is according to code and not to whomever is standing in front of you. And loser-y? Far from it, in fact the farthest you can get from it. To be nice (kind, decent, etc) is predicated on opening your heart and letting the world touch you, without agenda and without judgment–and then responding to humanity with humanity. This takes exceptional courage and intelligence. I mean think about it.

So if it’s not about being all oh I’m so nice to everyone I always put myself last, (gag) then what is it about? And how do you do it? I suggest signing

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The NICE Manifesto
Please print (or take a screen shot) and (electronically) sign. Feel free to add more stipulations.

I, ___________________, being of sound(ish) mind and body, do hereby commit to the path of NICE, fully recognizing that NICE could mean any number of things and is not merely (nor will it ever be limited to) exhibiting sweetness. In addition to sweet and depending on circumstance, NICE could require one to be tough, giving, angry, remote, strong, generous, and/or soft.

I know being NICE can change our world into a peaceful one. To demonstrate my commitment, I agree to the following:

1. I recognize that only by being aware in the present moment will I know which kind of NICE to be and so recognize that the path of awareness and the path of NICE are inseparable.

2. I will exhibit extreme good manners, even when no one is watching. Good manners include (but are not limited to) qualities such as friendliness, generosity, patience, discipline, respect, discernment, dressing appropriately, and always, always cleaning up after myself.

3. When encountering those who disagree with me I will continue to view and treat them as human, no matter how barbaric or threatening I may consider their views. This means not wishing they were dead or thinking such things as, “The world would be so awesome were it not for _______ (Sarah Palin, Michael Palin, Islamists, Feitishists, Night fears, Stephen Frears, Darwinians, North Carolinians, Psychiatrists, Physiatrists, Bad drivers, Noisy neighbors, Townies, Junkies, Flunkies, Spelunkers, Circus Buskers, Motherfuckers, People who like Justin Bieber, and so on).

4. I will practice speaking clearly, honestly, and skillfully, which means also knowing when to shut up. When others are speaking, I will not use that time to think of what I will say next, but will instead give myself over to listening completely, fully, and properly.

5. I acknowledge that love is the most important thing in life and vow to give my heart away at the least provocation.

Signed: _______________

Date: _________________

The first person to email me back 5 signed manifestos wins a free copy of my book, The Wisdom of a Broken Heart.

Downtown Wichita in the rain

Beautiful & flat

Completely strange shopping mall with some kind of play area with gorilla. I cannot figure this out. But thought the gorilla looked pretty cool coming through the mist. Gorilla in the mist, Kansas-stylee.

Drive became extremely foggy at one point. Kind of cool.

Prairie moonscape.

Mountains rising up on the road to Boulder.

Some video musings:

A super proud moment!

Yer typical Austin breakfast joint

Oklahoma beauty

Hello, everyone. I am a Twitteraholic.

I never dreamt that Twitter would become such a big part of my life. I joined about a year and a half ago and at first, it was just something fun. It’s still fun but it’s also more. It’s a way to let people know what I’m up to. It’s a way for me to find out what people think about the important topics of the day. It’s a way to get truly up to the minute info and insights about our world. And it’s still really, really fun.

Most of my friends can’t understand what I love about Twitter. They say stuff like, doesn’t it take up too much time, isn’t it a waste of time, why would anyone want to know that I just ate a cupcake or stubbed my toe? When I described Twitter to him, one friend said, “I’d rather stick a pencil in my eye.”

One of my Twitter pals (@Pistachio) told me that a friend of hers called it “ambient intimacy.” And that is the best descriptor yet. Throughout my day of sitting by myself at my desk, I am able to tune into this giant flow of humanity anytime I like. I just find it so touching and quirky and funny and surprising and also quite sweet. That’s what I love about it.

Last week, I had the surprising good fortune to land on Mashable’s “25 of the Most Inspiring People on Twitter” list and that was awesome. It made me feel so good. Then I had the pleasure of being followed by a whole bunch of people in a very short time. I can’t lump them together. I want to know who each one is. So I look at the profile of every single person who follows me because I’m so touched that they might want to hear about my life. And I want to hear about theirs!

Well, actually there are some people I don’t want to hear about so much. The big hit of new followers made me think about a twitter strategy, which I never in a million years thought I would need. It’s actually been an interesting exercise to think through.

And btw, if you’re not on twitter, get on it!! Follow me!! Twitter.com/spiver. I promise to follow you back, as long as you’re not trying to sell me something on the physical, emotional, or spiritual plane.

So here is my fascinating follow-back strategy. (But sometimes I accidentally delete someone’s profile or otherwise lose track of my emails. If you think I should be following you back, un-follow and re-follow or just tweet me.)

I like to follow people who

• Are genuine.
• Tweet about daily life, as opposed to their philosophy of daily life. I’d rather hear how it’s working out than any recommended beliefs or strategies.
• Question authority.
• Are going through something extremely sad or extremely happy.
• Have a point of view on something that interests me (social media, Buddhism, Enneagram, cooking & food, love, sorrow, music, outfits & hairdos, writing, Macs, inner and outer life adventures, reality TV, creating world peace).
• Seem kind.
• Tweet encouraging things to others. (Personally, not through random quotes.)
• Are funny and sassy and smart, but not mean.
• Are passionate and human.
• Post pictures of their pets.
• Just seem like decent human beings.
• Tell me they like me (hey, I’m only human).

I’m not so into following people who

• Are in it to advertise their business or service, especially if they pretend they’re not.
• Only tweet about their professional services.
• Only issue tweets and never enter into dialog.
• Only (or mostly) post quotations.
• Only care about success.
• Have never tweeted anything.
• Want me to join in their cause.
• Express any sort of fundamentalist view.
• Exhort me to do anything.
• Protect their tweets.
• Display no uncertainty about self, others, or life.
• Show me their nakedness absent a personal request.
• Are humorless.
• Might be dismayed if I followed them back.
• Have a following: follower ratio of 3249:1
• Act as Thought Police: obsessed with positivity and counsel mind control to avoid anything negative.

I got on this list of 25 of the most inspirational people on Twitter at position #12. I have no idea how this list was created or why I’m #12, but I really love that it happened!

If you twitter, follow me! I promise to follow you back. If you don’t twitter, you might want to check it out. I love it. Someone (can never remember the name) called it “ambient intimacy” and that’s the best description I ever heard. It’s lovely.

A good way to start on twitter is to find someone you know (like me), see who they follow, and start following those people. If you hate it, you don’t have to keep it up. It’s a very relaxed thing.

THURSDAY (Arizona):

to film Andrew Weil direct response show.

FRIDAY (Vermont):

To teach a meditation retreat for writers.

Things can change awfully fast in this world.

I somehow got invited to host a direct response show (30 minutes) for Dr. Andrew Weil. The two of us sat and talked about healthy aging. Filming took two days to set up and two days to complete, although my part only took a day. Here is the crew setting the stage: